Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Men Are Just Happier People

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

  If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-Eyes.      


When the bill arrives, Mike Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

A man has seven items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, shampoo and a towel...

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is the one who can find such a man.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.


A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.


 Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.


A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

*All images from Google Images
*email origin unknown


Tuuli - Lumo Lifestyle said...

Funny and (mostly) true... all over the world, also here in Finland...

Kat said...

This just made me smile from ear to ear. So true, bless their hearts! Except I'm usually the one who puts down too much money at a group lunch. I have alot of family members who work or have worked in the restaurant business, so I tend to overtip (unless the service was horrid) But my favorite is the arguments, I've been saying that for years lol. Kathy

Cashon&Co said...

True, all the way around! Especially when it comes to bill time!

Kathysue said...

Terri, I love this post, too funny and oh so true. I think you nailed it!!Having all this information only makes us more dangerous for men to to handle. Kathysue

A Gift Wrapped Life said...

Yes, it true.......every single line. Makes for an interesting life. XO

Shorely Chic said...

You are just great - very clever and well thought through!

cjsullivan133 said...

hee hee..
I liked this.. The first image must be somewhere in Paris? Only in England or France will you get a side of fries/chips/frites with a pizza! Yummy!!

Beach House Living said...

Both amusing and accurate... Couldn't help smiling. Rita

~*~ saskia ~*~ said...

Ow, this was fun reading! As a matter of fact, I think I will read once again right now, just to make sure I didn't miss a single line (;
I'm glad I hopped onto your lovely blog!

FrenchBlue said...

So true, so cute! You are amazing with this post! I love it! Except, I will pay $2. for a $1. item and my husband will print a coupon, drive 30 minutes, and order an item that he has a coupon for that takes 6 weeks to come. He will go back in 6 weeks and his coupon will have expired and he will drive home and print out another coupon and go get the $2. item for $1.90!!
Really really true story!!

Acanthus and Acorn said...

Thanks so much for making me laugh this morning! Great stuff here, especially the one about a man getting the last word is just the start of a new arguement-so true!

Cal Sr. said...

Great true...Love, Chris.

Kelly Polkinghorne said...

Hilarious! Loved how you used all the pics too. Thanks for sharing xx

Amanda said...

That's hilarious. I was trying to figure out which pics were stock and which were actual friends!!! Wonderful. and so true it's scary.

Trouvais said...

Thanks for a great laugh, So, so true. Except I dress down to go shopping...sales people expect less of me that way. Trish

The Memoirs of Anastasia said...

Ah, this gave me a good laugh!